.......I raised my concerns in front of my boss. He was a very shrewd man, smart but insensitive to pains of other.
I poured my heart out in front of him a told him i was going through such pain and misery that i don't think i can hold on to the career. Now boss being a very smart man listened to me carefully and after listening to me he apologized to me. Can you imagine how great it feels when you have a boss who understands your problems and is filled with compassion. He told me if i made sales worth $0.1 million every month, i would get a pay of $5 thousand every month, that was a 5% commission, bit low but i was happy that being honest paid and now my boss understands my problems. Few weeks later when i was depressed with the sickening politics in the office, i again told my boss how i felt, I was feeling so low that how i controlled my tears even i don't know. But after telling everything to my boss i was feeling lighter.
but soon i learned it was all a big sham.
Soon i realized that my boss for whom i would risk my career and my dad's saving, thinks of me as a lowlife. Soon i learned the most bitter lesson of the corporate world- No one cares.
If you think you have someone whom you can bank upon, then slap yourself in the face, wash your face with cold water, and rethink, at least you won't feel the humiliation. One thing you must remember in corporate world is, that you should never share your weaknesses with anyone, don't tell how you feel to anyone. Believe it or not but when you express your rage, anger or disappointment to other you are the prey which is displaying his wounds to vultures and foxes.
Believe me if they are you colleagues they will pray, you die of your wounds.
And if they are your seniors, (my boss in my case) they will not pray but make you die of your wounds, let alone try to heal you. Same thing happened to me. Being a young novice sales man i disclosed my insecurities in front of my boss, and he was trying to screw me harder now. He tried and did any and everything to make me feel a lesser man.
First i doubted if he was trying to make things more difficult for me. Then i found out that he was. He was openly flaunting his changed attitude towards me. I could see the despise in his eyes but was still fooled by his sweet and motivating speeches. Poor me. more experienced or cunning colleagues noticed that the boss was trying to avoid any kind of conversation with me, and was avoiding even eye contact with me, they planned to surround me for the final kill. The technical department was not cooperating with me anymore, I had plenty of doubts about the product but could not access the technical department.
Once i closed a deal with a customer who wanted minor tweaks in the system, When i told my boss about the
first deal i closed and the minor changes the client needs, he appreciated my effort and i was to have $4 thousand as my first pay-cheque. I planned to buy something for dad a new watch maybe, and an owen for mom. But the money never came. My boss told me he would talked to the technical department and get the changes done in a few days. But after a few days he told me those changes were not possible and i closed a bad deal for the company. I had to apologize to the client and cancel the deal. That was a blow to my reputation. I was the laughing stock of the company for many weeks.
After a few weeks when i was in the cafeteria with a guy from the technical department, out of curiosity i discussed with him the tweaks that the client had asked for. he told me those were minor changes and he could do those by himself in a few hours. The coffee felt like poison that moment. I was lost in thoughts, though i was enraged with the felony of my boss my dad and mom's face were spinning in my head. It felt as if they were conned and cheated by my boss just because of their foolish son. I did not sleep for many nights to come...............................
